We all carry on a steady mental dialogue. Do you ever listen to what you're saying to yourself? Do you put yourself down or call yourself names? Learn to hear the things you say about yourself, then replace that dialogue with positive images. Stop negative self-talk and take the first step toward a more positive self-image.
Make a list of your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem to you. Maybe you won't win a Nobel Prize, but your accomplishments have worth to you. By recognizing them, you can begin to understand that you are important and that you have self-worth.
Learn to be assertive and to practice clear communication. Say what you mean and respect what others have to say. Remember that you have rights, too.
Be tolerant of yourself and others. Nobody's perfect! Try not to criticize yourself or other people and don't expect others to criticize you. Recognize that a mistake is only a mistake and don't dwell on it.
Know Good Friends
Spend time with people who value you. Listen to what they say about you. If others are constantly putting you down, you might want to reconsider those relationships. People you choose to be around are often mirrors of how you feel about yourself. You can find the best in yourself and others by expecting it.
Q: What is self esteem?
A: Self-esteem is our internal feelings and evaluation of ourselves based on our "perceived" self-image.
Self-esteem and self image are closely inter-related. And, are largely based on our feedback while growing-up (parents, peers, other important figures).
Fact: it takes about 20 positive statements ABOUT OURSELVES (the foundation of our self-image---self-esteem) to counter-act even just 1 negative personal statement!
Here's the difficult part: it doesn't take a continual repetition of negative statements from our parents, peers, and others throughout our childhood to cause low self-image-self-esteem...fact is, once we get a couple in our head, we can use them over and over again. Again and again we take those false negatives and repeat them unconsciously (completely unaware). It's like having a constant heckler with you.
January, 1990 Radio Message
"Self-Rejection: Its Characteristics, Causes & Cures"
- Overemphasis on dress (a self-image problem)
The above list should actually be labeled "sinful responses of people claiming self-rejection." The above items in the list have no Biblical basis. Their roots are instead Rogerian/behavioristic psychology and Freudian psychic determinism.
- Early in life deformity
- According to Stanley, three feelings needed for one to be emotionally healthy:
(a) Feelings of belonging
- Self-worth should be based upon what God says, which according to Stanley is, "I have a sense of worth -- Jesus died for me; I have a sense of competence -- the Holy Spirit is working in me" (complete failure to recognize that Christ died for us, not because of our great worth, but because of our great sin!).
(a) Identify the feelings of rejection(b) Reject the feelings of rejection (based on God having said, "I'm worthy ")(c) Affirm the following: (sounds a little like positive confession)
(1) "Father, I thank you that I am unconditionally loved"(2) "I am completely forgiven"(3) "I am totally accepted"(4) "I am complete in Christ"